'I'm done feeling guilty': Old college friend shows up after years, asking to stay over with her giant Golden Retriever, her friend says no due to her 2 cats, but she shows up in the middle of the night anyway, forcing her friend to call the cops

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
May 29, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Cats are family members, just like anyone else. We take care of their and their sometimes-funny needs just like any other family member. We keep door opens because cats hate closed doors for some reason. We allow our cats to chill in our sink, even though it's totally uncomfortable and we need to brush our teeth, but that's okay, you stay right there, we'll brush them somewhere else. We cave into our cats pompous drinking demands, because they can't drink from their bowl like normal people. We do it because we love them, and because they're family. And they come first.

Our cats come way before any old friend who we haven't seen in years suddenly showing up and asking to stay for a while with their dog. If the cats don't like dogs, then dogs will not stay in the house with them. It's that simple. Showing up with the dog in the middle of the night won't change that, it'll just make everything a whole lot worse.  

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  • 01

    "[Am I wrong] for Not Letting My Friend Bring Her Dog to Stay at My House While She Visits?"

    "Then, like three days [later], I get a text completely out of the blue: 'I'm outside'..."
    via Unsplash / Yurii Khomitskyi - ykhomi

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Okay, so, we have seen a lot of unhinged stories about unhinged friends and behaviors, and still, this one… is one of the most insane. Like, we think this person needs help. Nothing about how this story turned out is okay in any capacity. 

  • 02
    I'm 32 and live in a quiet suburb with my partner and our two cats. We have a small house with a fenced backyard and a guest room, and we actually enjoy having people over from time to time. I work from home as a freelance writer, so I spend a lot of time in my space, and I'm kind of protective of my routine.
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  • 03
    My old college friend Kayla recently texted to say she'd be in town for a week and wanted to hang out. I was genuinely excited it's been years since we've seen each other.
    via Narrow_Estimate5682
  • 04
    But then she added that she'd be bringing her dog, Maple, a 90- pound golden retriever, and she hoped it would be cool to stay at my house instead of paying for a hotel or Airbnb. Her message was something like, "You have a yard, it'll be perfect!"
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  • 05
    Here's where it gets complicated. I like dogs, but my cats absolutely do not. One of them is elderly and on medication, and both have had bad experiences with dogs before.
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  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10510196224
    via Unsplash / Angel Luciano - roaming_angel

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    The last time a friend brought a dog over for literally an hour my older cat went into hiding for two days and stopped eating. It was a mess.
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  • 08
    On top of that, my partner has a mild dog allergy. It's not life- threatening, but after a couple hours of exposure, he gets congested, itchy, and generally miserable. Hosting a dog for an entire week inside our home just isn't something we can comfortably do.
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  • 09
    So I explained all this to Kayla as kindly as I could. I told her I'd love to spend time with her, take her out for brunch, maybe go for a walk or have a day together somewhere dog-friendly. I even helped her look up a few pet- friendly Airbnbs nearby and offered to help cover the first night or two if cost was a problem.
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  • 10
    She didn't take it well. She said I was being rigid and dramatic, and that "it's just a dog." Then she said she thought I'd be more understanding, and implied that I was choosing my pets over people.
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  • 11
    Since then, she's basically ghosted me. A couple of mutual friends think I did the right thing, but others say I could've just made it work for a few days and that it's not that big of a deal.
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  • 12
    Now I feel torn. I honestly don't think I was being unreasonable, but part of me wonders if I should've just sucked it up for the sake of the friendship. So am I the j¨?
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  • 13

    "UPDATE: [Am I wrong] for Not Letting My Friend Bring Her Dog to Stay at My House While She Visits?"

    Cheezburger Image 10510196480
    via Unsplash / Yurii Khomitskyi - ykhomi

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14
    Update to my last post After Kayla ghosted me, I figured that was that. I sent her one more message just saying I was still happy to see her if she was up for it, and that I hoped she understood I wasn't trying to be mean or anything, just realistic. I didn't hear anything back.
    via Narrow_Estimate5682
  • 15
    Then, like three days into the week she said she'd be in town, I get a text completely out of the blue: "I'm outside. Hope the cats can deal with it for one night."
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  • 16
    I literally froze. Before I could even answer, she's knocking at the door with her suitcase and Maple (her dog). I opened it to talk, and she just walked in. Maple ran straight into the house, barking, and my older cat just bolted upstairs in full panic mode. Total chaos.
    via Narrow_Estimate5682
  • 17
    I told her kind of frantically, honestly that this wasn't okay and she needed to take Maple outside so we could talk. She just exploded. Said I was being "ridiculous" and "cold," that my house isn't a "temple for cats" (her words), and that I clearly "value animals more than people."
    via Narrow_Estimate5682
  • 18
    I told her again, as calmly as I could manage, that she needed to leave. That's when she snapped.
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  • 19
    Cheezburger Image 10510197248
    via Unsplash / Angel Luciano - roaming_angel

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 20
    She knocked over this little bookshelf I keep in the living room plants, books, everything flying. Then she grabbed a coffee mug off the side table and smashed it on the floor. For context, it was one of the last things my partner had from his grandma. He was right there, watching it all happen.
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  • 21
    We ended up calling the cops. She stormed out before they got there, dragging Maple behind her, and I gave them her name and everything. We filed a police report and I've started a small claims case for the damages.
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  • 22
    Between the broken stuff, an emergency vet trip for my cat (he stopped eating again from stress), and an urgent care visit for my partner's allergies flaring up really badly it was just a lot.
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  • We're so sorry about everything you, your partner, and your cats went through, but really, we're glad this is how it ended. Because with someone as unstable as that essentially breaking into your home, things can go a lot worse. Everyone is going to be okay, and that matters. Now, let's just hope that this woman - and her innocent dog who didn't deserve any of this - will be okay too. 

  • 23
    A few friends who originally said I was being "too rigid" have since changed their minds after hearing what went down. Others are still like, "that's just how Kayla is," which is honestly insane to me. Like... how is that even remotely okay behavior??
    via Narrow_Estimate5682
  • 24
    Anyway, I'm done feeling guilty. I tried to be understanding. I set a boundary and even offered alternatives. I was not mean. And she turned around and completely disrespected me, my home, and the people (and animals) I care about.
    via Narrow_Estimate5682

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cat dogs thread drama interesting story golden retriever Cats
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